Titas de Bacolod: #deartita

Showing posts with label #deartita. Show all posts

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Dear Tita : Coping With My Anti-Vaxxer Friend

Received in my Facebook Page today as a message:

Dear Tita de Bacolod:

First off, this is quite funny. I am writing to you as if I were a young newlywed seeking advise from an auntie who has weathered the highs and lows of marriage for some kind of marital problem. In actuality, I may be older than you, Tita. In addition, this has nothing to do about marriage.

I am writing to you about how the world has changed because of technology and how what was meant to bring us together actually pulls us apart. I am referring to an incident which has taken place in our Viber group.

Years ago, us ladies were just so glad to be reunited through Viber in an old friends group. I can't even say this is a batch Viber group, just an old friends group chat. All was well until the pandemic. At first all of us were supportive and encouraging one another. Then as the months went by last year, some started losing their husbands due to COVID-19. This was long before there was any discussion about vaccines.

Then early this year, the vaccines started arriving in the Philippines. This was when all of a sudden, one of our friends in the Viber group suddenly took on a Jeckyl and Hyde personality. From the kind person we have known her to be, she has all of a sudden become an inconsiderate and rabid Anti-Vaxxer. Fed with all these YouTube links coming from her son, she keeps spamming the Viber group with conspiracy theories and unfounded statements to the dismay of the other group members.

Finally, most of us in the group knew that the tipping point had come when one morning, two of the three friends recently widowed left the group. I feel for them after hearing all these Anti-Vax statements when at the back of their minds, they could be thinking, "If only my husband were inoculated last year, maybe I wouldn't have lost him".

I understand our friend's position for being Anti-Vax and respect that. However, there is so much insensitivity in the way the Anti-Vax agenda is being pushed in the presence of friends who have lost dear ones, the rock of their families, the loves of their lives. Cause for our two friends to simply pull out from the Viber group for obvious reasons.

Our friend Helen (not her real name) still sends us YouTube videos without fail.

What would you do, Tita?

Stay Safe!

Mary

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Follow me on Twitter @TitasdeBacolod

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Dear Tita : My brother is gay

#deartita, #heytita

Dear Tita,

I am a college student in one of the universities here. We are a very close family with my parents and four siblings – two girls and two boys. My problem concerns my brother Gino, our youngest, who is in high school. He is the cutest, so good-looking, clean-cut and lovable. Growing up, he was very close to my sister Emma and me, and we were over-protective with him. He wasn’t as close to our brother, Roy, who is very much into sports. Gino didn’t go for the rough and tumble of basketball and taekwondo which Roy loved.

I never suspected anything amiss until recently, when Gino came home with his shirt torn and his nose bleeding. We were so concerned that I immediately decided to investigate. It was then I found out that the boys in his school were picking on Gino because they called him “Agi! (gay).” I was shocked. I tried to observe Gino closely and I started seeing things that almost confirmed my suspicions. I told Emma about it and she, too, said she noticed the same things.

I don’t know how to tell our parents as I know our Papa would be shocked if he found out. Is there a cure for homosexuality?

CONCERNED SISTER

Dear Concerned Sister,

I am not aware of any cure for homosexuality. But I do know that a lot of gays are very successful in their careers. They are usually artistic and talented. And they are the most enjoyable companions you could have. I have a lot of gay friends whose company I do enjoy very much. The minute they are around, we inevitably start laughing and having the time of our lives.

This is a different world we are living in. People nowadays are more understanding and compassionate toward gays. I suggest you sit down with your parents and tell them what you know. It won’t be easy but that’s what families are for – to stick together in good times and bad. Gino might still make you proud of him one day.

TITA

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Follow me on Twitter @TitasdeBacolod

Meet The Man Who Helped Marcos Bring Negros Island To Its Knees

Negros Island was in a woeful state at the eve of the snap elections in 1986. Negros as a word was synonymous to "Crisis" in those days. For the longest time, the sugar industry, romanticized by the well-heeled landowners of Negros and Iloilo, was the prima donna of Philippine ......Read More

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Dear Tita : My Secret Love Child

#deartita, #heytita

Dear Tita,

When I was 18 years old, I was madly in love with my boyfriend, Joey, who was 16 years old. We had to meet in secret because our parents were very strict and they didn’t approve of our relationship.

Because we were so young, we forgot ourselves and before we knew it, I missed my period. Joey got scared when I told him and he even accused me of playing around with other men. I was very hurt with his accusations because he was the only one I gave myself to. My parents were very angry when they learned of my situation. I told my mother what Joey’s reaction was, and she warned me to never have anything to do with him again.

My mother took me to Miag-ao, Iloilo, where I stayed during my pregnancy and gave birth to my baby boy, Sammy. After a few months, we came back to Bacolod and my mother told everyone that she adopted the son of her cousin. Sammy grew up not knowing that I was his mother. One day, a friend of mine introduced me to Dave, an Australian she had met on the Internet.

Soon, Dave and I became good friends and before long, he courted me. I accepted him and we began talking about getting married. I knew I was in love with him but I was scared to tell him that I had a love child. Last December, Dave came to visit me and meet my family. He also met Sammy and took him with us when we went out. Dave asked permission from my parents to marry me and they gave their okay. Before he left for Australia, he asked me to prepare all my papers so we could get married by November this year.

I am now in a quandary. I know that I would have a happy future with Dave as he is loving and so responsible. He even bought a house for us to live in Melbourne. I want to tell him about Sammy but my mother said I better keep it a secret or it might spoil everything.

Please help me.

SO CONFUSED

Dear So Confused,

The problem here is, if Dave finds out the truth one day, he might resent that you kept it from him all this time. His trust in you will be totally shattered. Trust is a very delicate thing that should be kept unspoiled by lies and half-truths.

You should have been totally honest with him when he came to visit. He would have respected and loved you more for it. The way it is now, you will always be afraid that he might find out how you duped him.

Don’t you think you should be honest before you marry him?

TITA