Dear Tita,
When I was 18 years old, I was madly in love with my boyfriend, Joey, who was 16 years old. We had to meet in secret because our parents were very strict and they didn’t approve of our relationship.
Because we were so young, we forgot ourselves and before we knew it, I missed my period. Joey got scared when I told him and he even accused me of playing around with other men. I was very hurt with his accusations because he was the only one I gave myself to. My parents were very angry when they learned of my situation. I told my mother what Joey’s reaction was, and she warned me to never have anything to do with him again.
My mother took me to Miag-ao, Iloilo, where I stayed during my pregnancy and gave birth to my baby boy, Sammy. After a few months, we came back to Bacolod and my mother told everyone that she adopted the son of her cousin. Sammy grew up not knowing that I was his mother. One day, a friend of mine introduced me to Dave, an Australian she had met on the Internet.
Soon, Dave and I became good friends and before long, he courted me. I accepted him and we began talking about getting married. I knew I was in love with him but I was scared to tell him that I had a love child. Last December, Dave came to visit me and meet my family. He also met Sammy and took him with us when we went out. Dave asked permission from my parents to marry me and they gave their okay. Before he left for Australia, he asked me to prepare all my papers so we could get married by November this year.
I am now in a quandary. I know that I would have a happy future with Dave as he is loving and so responsible. He even bought a house for us to live in Melbourne. I want to tell him about Sammy but my mother said I better keep it a secret or it might spoil everything.
Please help me.
SO CONFUSED
Dear So Confused,
The problem here is, if Dave finds out the truth one day, he might resent that you kept it from him all this time. His trust in you will be totally shattered. Trust is a very delicate thing that should be kept unspoiled by lies and half-truths.
You should have been totally honest with him when he came to visit. He would have respected and loved you more for it. The way it is now, you will always be afraid that he might find out how you duped him.
Don’t you think you should be honest before you marry him?
TITA
